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Here’s your $600 peasants

Here’s your $600 peasants. Please believe us when we say:

We’re sorry we shut your businesses down for a whole year.

We regret we’ve mandated you to wear a mask over your face.

Our most humble apologies to everyone who lost their jobs and homes last year.

Our deepest regrets you’ve not been allowed to send your children to school and you cannot attend church or funerals.

We implore your forgiveness for those inconveniences and we sincerely expect things to get better now that we have a President we like better than you.

We hope the new regime will be to your satisfaction and that the socialist/communist agenda we are working diligently toward will please you after all your suffering.

Look, the BLM riots have quit. There are no forest fires burning up to and stopping at the Canadian border. There are no pallets of bricks on any street corners in American cities. The border wall is no longer being worked on. We hope you like the news, we will be giving citizenship to 14 million illegals. Now those gardening chores and labor shortages will be a breeze. Simply pick up your phone and hire former illegals to do them for you. We are sure the coming raises in your taxes will be welcomed by you all to support the upcoming social programs we are all going to enjoy and applaud.

This is your Democratic Party working on your behalf. Incidentally, Congress will be giving themselves another raise soon because we have worked so hard for you, but we want all of you to enjoy your windfall of $600 first. We always say. “Put the little people first”. We are so happy here in Washington DC we were able to do so much to reduce your suffering.

Just a word of caution, if any of this doesn’t suit you, remember, we have surrounded Washington, DC with wire fencing so you can’t get to us, and if you try, there are 50,000 armed troops guarding us from you.

A special thanks to those wonderful people who manage and maintain those voting machines all over Europe on your behalf. In the words of our former President Barack Obama, “Thanks suckers”!